You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
