I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
