69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
