His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
