He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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