I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
