I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
