How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
