I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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