you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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