I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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