the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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