used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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