You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
