my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
