P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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