This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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