can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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