You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
