im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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