some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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