your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
