GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
