i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
