I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
