Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
