Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If I had your ass I would rule the world
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
