She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
