i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
