I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
