Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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