I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
