Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
