Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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