just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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