lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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