Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
FUCK WHALES
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
