is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
