Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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