every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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