Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
