I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Drunk is not a location!
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