ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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