What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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