Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
