Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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