Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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