Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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