He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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