i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
