I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You need a sexual gate keeper
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
