Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
